Why can’t I forget my ex-wife? Help moving forward after divorce
It’s 3 in the morning. Silence echoes within the empty house. You know you won’t meet tomorrow’s deadline for that project at work, but you don’t care. This all seems so trivial. It’s been like this for a year. A veil has been covering your perception, your goals, and your aspirations. Only this phrase keeps repeating itself inside your mind: “Why can’t I forget my ex-wife?” You keep wondering if you could have done something to save this marriage. You cannot understand why you are sinking deeper and deeper into this vicious cycle within your mind, instead of overcoming it. They say that time heals, but it doesn’t seem like it’s happening to you. Time cannot heal, unless you want to.
For men, healing from divorce is as difficult as it is for women, perhaps even more so. The reason for this is that women express their emotions, but for men it is not so easy. They repress their feelings. They fight to fulfill the role that society imposes on them and this is always counterproductive. The pain inside them accumulates and multiplies to the point that it becomes unbearable.
1. Express yourself
This is the most important thing to do during and long after your divorce. The phrase “men do not cry” cannot be far from the truth. Men cry, but they do it alone. Don’t struggle to hold back your tears in the company of a dear friend.
2. Communicate
Talk about it for hours with your friends and family, if you feel the need.
3. Avoid mutual contacts by all means
Whatever he says will probably be transferred in a distorted version to his ex-wife and vice versa. This creates an endless gossip circle, completely destroying a man’s chances of recovery after divorce.
If contact with friends and family in common is unavoidable, demand that they not talk to you about this matter.
4. Get it out of your system
There will come a day when you are finally sick and tired of crying. Gather all pictures, letters, and any other reminders and keep them in a safe place out of sight. Stop going to places you went together. If you are the one who got the house, move to a new house or even an area.
5. Avoid bounce relationships
Most of the time, these relationships don’t work. They slow down a man’s healing process after divorce and end up hurting more people.
6. Take a solo trip
Take a trip on your own to a remote and peaceful location with warm weather and calm waters for swimming. It will help you to relax, to realize the beauty that still exists around you and it will give you the opportunity for introspection. All the pain you’ve been through will be in vain if you don’t learn from it.