The psychology of kindness

On the human need for personal kindness and the kindness of others, and what it means for the future of humanity

Kindness or benevolence is a very important psychological attribute. We are kind to others for various altruistic and sometimes selfish reasons. An individual may be nice to a homeless man and give him a blanket for reasons of sympathy and empathy, or a man may be nice to a woman for ulterior motives. Thus, kindness is triggered by personal motivations, including a need for fame or reputation, a need for love or companionship, or genuine considerations of empathy and sympathy.

Kindness to a homeless man is the sympathetic kind. while kindness kindness towards a friend is an empathetic type.

Kindness to someone in need may come from altruism or a need for personal reputation. For example, his act of kindness may stem from his need to be seen as a Good Samaritan or a benevolent member of society. Or a man may be kind to others because he needs fame for his donations and gifts to the society. A man can be kind to men or women, as there may be a need to earn the affection, love, sexual favors, respect, or company of other people. So kindness may be motivated by empathy, likeability, a need for reputation, respect, or other ulterior motives.

Some people are kind by nature and cannot refuse if someone asks them for a favor. Kindness is more related to mental strength than to weakness. Developing a theory of kindness in psychology might involve studying brain activity and neural circuitry when people suddenly feel this overwhelming emotion of kindness. Thus a physiological basis is important in a psychological theory of goodness. There may also be a “kindness gene” and some people may be kinder than others due to hereditary reasons, they may have had a kind parent and therefore inherited the trait. Kindness can be learned through social conditioning and some people are kind because they watched and learned from their parents or teachers.

I personally believe that kindness is an inborn psychological trait and some people are kinder because they are born that way. I won’t go back to the nature vs. nurture debates, but learning the kindness of others can eventually become too shallow if there is no innate natural goodness. So I would suggest that kindness is innate and kind people are born that way.

Psychologists definitely need to study the kindness gene and, if it exists, what triggers kindness, what kind of emotion or neural activity is related to kindness, and how it can be defined in psychological terms. Social conditioning of kindness is one possible theory, and as I said, social conditioning may not ultimately lead to genuine goodness in individuals, as I believe that goodness is inherent or innate and is not taught or learned.

I wrote in my other essay on altruism that altruism, which is social or more purposeful kindness, could be due to ulterior motives or unconscious recognition. Do philanthropists always give away wealth because they are genuinely kind or do they seek fame, reputation, respect and recognition for their philanthropic services?

Kindness can be based on sympathy, empathy, the need for fame or personal recognition, or a sense of duty or responsibility towards society or fellow citizens. So some kids are nice, they give away their clothes to the homeless, because they are naturally kind and understanding. Some may look at a homeless person and empathize, as they, too, may have been homeless at some point. Some men may intentionally develop personal kindness because they need fame and recognition and others feel a great responsibility towards society and perform kind acts. So there are specifically six reasons that suggest six types of goodness depending on the underlying reason or cause.

1. Empathic

2. nice

3. Altruistic or social

4. Motive oriented

5. Responsible

6. Based on superstition

These six different types can be elaborated with further examples. You feel sympathy for your dog and loosen his chain and you feel empathy for your friend and help him with advice or resources. People may feel a genuine altruistic need to give, or they may have ulterior motives such as fame, recognition, or even money and success. Kindness related to social responsibility comes from a genuine need to influence society, and kindness in older people is often accompanied by this overwhelming sense of responsibility towards other human beings, so it is a kind of social kindness. .

I would suggest that children are more motivated by genuine sympathy and adults are motivated by a need for recognition or social responsibility when engaging in acts of kindness.

Sometimes you will see people leave large amounts of cash at Church or donate large amounts of money to other people because they feel it will bring them good luck. This is based on superstition or may be referred to as “superstitional” kindness. Let’s move on to responsibility. Some people are “nice” to a cause because they may feel responsible to society and may want to do something about it. You see an ad to donate clothes and money to refugees in a foreign country. You immediately decide to give a large sum rather impulsively. Is this impulse due to genuine sympathy, empathy, responsibility, altruism, superstition, or a need for recognition? As I wrote in the essay on the psychology of altruism, there may be ulterior motives for being altruistic, and genuine selfless altruism is rare or non-existent. However, kindness or generosity as a result of social responsibility or responsibility towards other less privileged people can be considered as a type of altruistic kindness. Thus, altruism and social responsibility are fundamentally associated.

Now let me talk about the human need for kindness and this means both giving kindness and receiving kindness. Human beings have a genuine need for love, affection, happiness, and also kindness. Kindness comes from love, affection, sympathy, empathy, so it can be considered a type of secondary or derivative emotion rather than a primary emotion like love or anger. Let’s say, sympathy creates kindness but it is necessary to give and receive kindness because human beings are social beings. Kindness creates a bond between the giver and the receiver, and where kindness is shown towards a cause, it is generic social or altruistic kindness. It also creates your emotional bond with society and your cause. So giving creates social bonds and that’s why it exists in the first place. Kindness created social bonds and helped build families and societies. On the other hand, receiving also evokes a feeling of gratitude among the recipients of kind acts and helps create bonds and generosity. If you are generous to a homeless man, he can learn from you and become generous to others when he is no longer homeless. So kindness develops or creates a cycle of positive interaction in society. Such positive interactions are at the heart of social change, transformations, and a spirit of genuine concern for others. This is ultimately the goal of humanity.