Relationships: Why are some people attracted to emotionally unstable people?

For some people, being in a relationship with someone who is unreliable, unpredictable and has a need to keep them on edge and in a place of uncertainty is not going to interest them. If they were in this position, it might only be a matter of time before they left.

Being with someone like that will be like offering dark chocolate to someone who can’t stand it; it will repel them. A quick decision will be made, allowing them to leave.

I’ve been there, done that

Someone like this may have been with several people in the past who were not mentally and emotionally healthy. Thanks to this, it may not take them long to realize if another person is like that.

As a result, it may not take them long to see if another person is healthy, which prevents them from entering into a relationship with someone who is not. Perhaps they have had to work a lot on themselves to get to this point.

a conscious process

If this is the case, they will not have lost the desire to be with someone like that; it will be something that has taken a fair amount of time and effort. Perhaps one came to see that they weren’t randomly ending up with people like this, and that they were playing a part in what was going on.

Then it would have been clear that they were the common denominator, not simply an observer of what was happening. Getting to this point may have hurt her ego in the short term, but it would have benefited her true self in the long run.

A challenge

What may have made this process more difficult than it needed to be was the kind of feedback they received from their friends and family. They may have been told by these people that they were basically just a victim, not involved in what happened.

If this was the case and they had accepted this point of view, it would have prevented them from being able to move forward. Instead, the people ‘out there’ would have had to change, which would prevent them from being able to do anything in this area of ​​their life.

another experience

On the other hand, there will be people who are also not interested in this type of person, but who have not been able to go to the next stage. Someone like that may have been in a relationship that was anything but healthy.

Now that they are single, they may feel like they need a good amount of time to recover from everything they’ve been through. However, they may find that a part of them still yearns for the person they were with.

a strange scene

This might not be the first time this has happened either, as they have this experience every time they break up with someone like that. A part of them will know that their ex was not healthy, but another part will want to be with them.

If they are aware of this and do not allow themselves to be attracted, they will be able to ensure that they do not return to them. But, if the part of them that wants to get back together with their ex is really strong, they may find that it’s only a matter of time before they get back together.

Confusion

If this doesn’t happen and they end up with someone who isn’t emotionally unpredictable, they may end up feeling bored. Then they will have what they want, for example someone who is trustworthy, consistent and not interested in playing games, and they won’t be able to hug them.

Before this happened, they may have told themselves that they want someone who is different, and they may have told their friends the same thing. So it can be difficult for them to understand why they feel this way.

a deeper look

Based on how someone like this experiences life, it will be clear that they are experiencing a fair amount of internal conflict. If their inner world were more harmonious, they would not need to want to be with someone who does not suit them.

The small part of them that doesn’t want to be with someone like that will be pushed aside by the larger part of them that does. What this may show is that being with someone like this is familiar and therefore associated with what is safe on a deeper level.

a dysfunctional partnership

When you’re in a relationship with someone who’s all over the place and you never know where you stand with them, you may find that this gives you a high. This may be due to the adrenaline that is released within them, being in fight or flight mode.

This adrenaline rush will make you feel alive, and it will be something your brain and body crave. So, on a deeper level, experiencing adrenaline and feeling on edge will be what you associate as love.

back in time

It may seem strange why someone would have this association; after all, this is not what love is. What this may show is that their early years were a time when they lived in an environment that was not safe.

Maybe one of their handlers abused them in some way, which would have meant it would have been normal for them to be in fight or light mode and their system flooded with adrenaline. Having these experiences would have traumatized his being, yet what they went through would have come to be associated as something familiar to his unconscious mind. For this part of them, what is familiar is what is associated as safe, regardless of whether it is healthy or not.

Awareness

Recreating what they experienced as children in their adulthood will also be a way for them to resolve what happened. However, the only way for this to happen is if one is able to connect the dots, so to speak, and work through their internal wounds.

This is something that can be done with the help of a therapist or healer. Reconfiguring your being will not happen overnight, but it will happen if you seek the help you need and don’t give up.