Online Dating – First Date Mistakes to Avoid – Part 1

Let’s face it, first dates can get on the nerves of the most seasoned activists and I don’t think anyone is immune. When you think about it, it’s basically two people who don’t know each other very well getting together to find out how compatible they can be. I’ve been told that for women a first date is an opportunity to test how well a man handles himself. They will consider how confident you are, or how reserved and shy! Does he have a calm and laid back nature? Women are much better at this early stage than men would like to think they are. Most guys are likely to keep things simple and see if there is likely to be a physical attraction. The other stuff can wait later down the track.

pressures on man

Given this particular scenario, the pressure usually falls on men, so this section is more about the problems a man is likely to face and the mistakes he might make. That’s not to say that girls can’t make these mistakes, too, so don’t skip this by assuming it’s unrelated. There are some pretty obvious prohibitions that aren’t really worth discussing in detail, so I’ll get those out of the way now. Do not be late! Being late for your first date is a bad first impression. In fact, try to get to the place a little earlier than planned. Don’t act or look like a bum! Spend some time on your appearance and take a little pride in your presentation. Poor personal hygiene stands out as one of the top 3 complaints provided by women about men on first dates. I shouldn’t have to spell it out, but take a shower, wash your hair, brush your teeth, and wear clean clothes. Dress smart and you will impress, women like a man who takes pride in his appearance, it indicates that he has a sense of control over his life.

always tells the truth

The other blatantly obvious point is to always tell the truth. Don’t over-sell yourself, bragging is a very unattractive look and won’t earn you any points. Remember that the truth always comes out, no matter how good you think you are at hiding it. If this happens after you’ve successfully started dating someone, you may be risking everything. Keep it simple and keep it true. Don’t embellish your talents too much, as the right person will fall for you no matter how normal you are.

Don’t Boost!

Okay, let’s get into the less obvious and really important stuff. My personal favorite is the guy I like to call “I am an impressive man.” These guys really do exist and from what the girls have told me, there are a lot of them out there. For whatever reason, they think it’s attractive to talk and talk about themselves, usually throughout the course of the entire date. They will brag about how much money they make or what kind of car they drive. It can be about your house or even your friends, but no matter what the topic is, it will always come back to them. Try to avoid falling into this category by listening and asking your date questions. Create a conversation that stems from the questions you ask about her and the answers she gives you. It’s not rocket science, but you’d be surprised how hard some guys find this to do. Use their responses to your questions to steer the conversation and keep it simple and lighthearted.

not an interview

The next personality type girls mention when talking about their first date experiences is “Mr. Interviewer.” You are not applying for a job as this first date experience is about a human connection. Try to avoid being too professional in your approach. Act natural and try to be as close to the person as you really are. Win or lose, in the end at least you’ll know you didn’t try to be something you’re not. This type of character is almost the exact opposite of “I am an amazing man” in the sense that they will most likely ask too many HR type questions and come across as they do in a job interview. Let the conversation flow and keep it simple. Try not to go into too much detail on the first date, there’s plenty of time for that later.

Turn off your phone

Another classic mistake is the one you make “Cell Phone Guy”. Believe it or not, he will actually answer the phone if it rings in the middle of this very important first date. It’s okay, there are exceptions to the rule, but only for emergencies. If you absolutely must answer the phone, keep it very brief, don’t have conversations with your friends, and let your date scan the room for alternatives. Talking or texting on a first date is a big mistake, what it tells your date is that you are more interested in who is on the phone than in her. Make no mistake, it doesn’t make you look cool or popular, it will come across as ignorant and impolite. Remember, the first date is part of the classification process. If your date is doing this to you, you may need to move on.

don’t get plastered

I’ve said it before and I’m going to say it again, very briefly. Don’t get caught up in alcohol. For many reasons, this can potentially end badly. Maybe a glass of wine or two during dinner (always with food), but keep it that way. A moderate amount of alcohol can lift your mood and loosen tension, but too much could potentially unleash the beast that you are. Nasty boy. Keep it under control and you’ll have a much better overall experience.

Stay tuned for part 2 of this article in the coming days where we’ll talk about drinking, the ‘ex’, the ‘first kiss’ and more. Until then, I wish you dating success!