Mother’s wounds: Can a man feel invisible if he had a neglectful mother?

Although a man will have a physical body and therefore be visible to others, it does not mean that he will feel seen. In general, he might feel invisible and wonder if he even exists.

As a result of this, you can often feel powerless and helpless and believe that you have little or no control over your life. Ultimately, his life is not going to be very satisfying as many of his needs are not going to go unfulfilled.

Progress

However, simply noticing that you feel invisible and as if you don’t exist will be a positive sign. The reason for this is that before he came to see this, this would have been normal.

Then he would have felt down and depressed, but he would not have been able to see why in this way. Now, however, by being able to step back from how you experience life, you’ll know why you feel this way.

a painful existence

So regardless of whether you’re at work or socializing, this is likely to be something you experience. You could be in a position where you have a very basic job and don’t feel seen by your colleagues or clients.

Or you may do something that brings you satisfaction but, once again, you may feel unseen. You may often have moments where you fantasize about being seen and appreciated for what you do.

Even worse

Another area of ​​your life that could cause you a lot of pain is when it comes to your love life. Now, assuming she’s straight, he could figure out that she’s not very successful with women.

You can usually find that women don’t notice you and when you push yourself to try to take things further with a woman, you can rarely go very far. You could expect to be rejected and this could be what usually happens.

emotionally malnourished

Consequently, you are likely used to running on empty and desperate to be seen and heard. But, as he doesn’t get what he needs from his peers and struggles to be seen by the women he is attracted to, this is to be expected.

After all, this is not going to be a need that you can let go of and then go on living your life. Even if he did this, he would end up coming into contact with the pain of not feeling seen.

Two options

At this point, you may believe that you need to change your appearance in order for your life to change. So by becoming more attractive, for example, it will finally allow you to be seen by both men and women.

Alternatively, you might believe that this is something you would change if you became famous. If you were to go with the first option, it doesn’t necessarily mean that much would change, and as for the second option, you might find that you still aren’t really seen for who you are.

What’s going on?

If none of these things happened or at least one of them happened and it didn’t lead to the desired result, you could look back on your life and see that you’ve more or less always felt this way. You might come to the conclusion that you were born different and that you are missing something that other people have.

Ergo, if he were to find this missing piece, he could finally feel like a real human being. To finally receive the kind of answers that many people simply take for granted.

back in time

If this is more or less how you have always experienced life, it could prove that your early years were not very enriching. This may have been a time when she did not receive the attention she needed in order to grow and develop.

Your mother may have left you often, and when she was around, she may not have given you the attunement you needed. Not being able to truly connect with his mother, he would often have felt overwhelmed and helpless.

the second birth

For him to have developed a strong sense of himself and feel real, he needed his mother to tune in to his needs and give him the right answers. His presence and his eye contact would have allowed this to happen.

But, since this did not happen consistently, if at all, the interpersonal bridge would not have been formed, much less broken, and he would have been deeply ashamed and plunged into himself (emotionally collapsed). The result of this is that he would have experienced a physical birth but not an emotional birth.

The other part

In other words, for him to feel visible as an adult, he needed his mother to see him as a child, and since this did not happen, he will be in an underdeveloped state. Deep down, he will continue to hope that his existence will be recognized.

However, while this is what a large part of him will want, he is also likely to be afraid of being seen. Since his mother couldn’t really connect with him (probably because her mother was able to really connect with her) and give him the reflection he needed, he would have been flooded with toxic or core shame and believe there is something inherently wrong with this. real me.

Many parts

The part of him that wants to be seen, then, his true self, will have been rejected and will go to great lengths not to be seen. Thus, not being seen will cause him suffering but, on a deeper level, it will be seen as the only way for him not to be rejected and abandoned.

What this illustrates is that there is what happens to you on a conscious level and what happens to you on an unconscious level. Without this understanding, he will see himself as nothing more than a helpless victim; with him, you will see that he has the power to change his life.

Awareness

If a man can relate to this and is ready to turn his life around, he may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer.