it’s not me

There is a very particular risk inherent in the creative process: when you make the journey inward, you discover that you are not who you think you are, or that you are further of what you think you are. But sometimes these images reflected through inner mirrors are so foreign to our ego that they make us run. The trick is not to run, but to persevere. The image will change, fear will dissolve, and the stranger seen through the creative mirror will become familiar and wonderful. These unknown parts of us will guide us through invisible doors into unexpected landscapes.

A poem by Juan Ramón Jiménez speaks wonderfully on this point.

 

it’s not me

I’m not me

i’m walking by my side

who I don’t see

whom I sometimes manage to visit

and at other times they manage to forget.

The sweet one who forgives when I hate,

the one who walks when I’m inside,

the one who is silent when I speak,

and the one that will remain when I die.

How do we discover these who walk alongside us and tend to be who we are not? How do we learn to lift the smoke screen?

First of all, I would like to suggest that these do not walk beside us, but rather these invisible and unexplored voices live within us.

There are different ways to explore these inner selves, which some call the dark or shadowy side, the hidden self, or the true self. Whatever the name, these are parts of oneself that have been sequestered, usually in childhood or adolescence, when it seemed dangerous to release them into the world. We learn very early in life to make judgments about those parts of the self that do not find acceptance; in doing so, we condemn ourselves to living through a small part of the totality of the self while throwing other parts into the shadows, where we keep them hidden and silent.

Carl Jung said that the unconscious is a great friend, guide and advisor to the conscious and that psychic totality comes from balancing the unconscious and the conscious. He believed that the main way to do this is through dreams. I believe that this communication is also an integral part of the creative journey. The trick is to break the hold that the conscious, rational mind, the “I” we think we are, has over us.

As far as I am concerned, this is the most difficult part of the journey, quieting the critic within so that we can move unencumbered, without judgment or criticism, into the great sea of ​​the unconscious. This irruption is also the hook, or perhaps it is more accurate to say that when we finally break through to the creative unconscious, we are hooked. Because there we find the hidden selves that contain a large part of our deep desires and our explosive impulse. They possess talents, wisdom, and knowledge that we never dreamed we had. For the fiction writer, our hidden and disowned selves often become powerful characters, if we let them! In many ways, these hidden selves are partners in the dance of creativity.