If I miss my spouse during the separation, does that mean I shouldn’t get a divorce?
Sometimes I hear from people who were sure that separating and then seeking a divorce was the best idea. Sometimes they firmly believe that their marriage is too far away to save. Other times, they believe that they have fallen in love with their spouse. But then at some point during the separation that they were sure would lead to divorce, something strange starts to happen. They start to miss their spouse. To their surprise, they are deeply affected by the absence of their spouse. And they often have no idea what this should mean for their marriage or for the expected divorce.
I heard a wife say, “For the past five years, my husband and I have grown seriously estranged. For the past year and a half, I have been closely watching my marriage. Because I was trying to determine if something was gone and if I had to try to save him. I decided that I was really done because I thought I didn’t feel anything for my spouse and my marriage. My husband had a hard time accepting this, so I decided to seek a separation before filing for divorce. I thought this would give him it would give some time to adjust and it would be the best and kindest way to do it. I felt like I was made up. We have been apart for about four weeks. Well, for the past few weeks, I started to desperately miss my husband and I don’t know what do with this. My best friend says I miss him because it had almost become a habit and that doesn’t mean that I still love him or that I should change my mind about the divorce, but I don’t know if she’s right. n. I find myself thinking of him longingly and remembering some of the good times in our marriage. This is normal? Is my marriage still over? “
He couldn’t decide whether or not this wife’s marriage should end. This was a decision that only the couple should make. However, to be honest, I think the wife who misses her husband was very revealing and important. I’ll tell you why below.
Missing your spouse during a separation means that you are not indifferent and, in my opinion, this is significant: I know that many people will not agree with what I am going to say. But I think that if you still have feelings for your spouse, it could mean that your marriage is not really over. I believe this is true even if you feel negative emotions like anger, frustration, or confusion. Because I think if you have any feelings, it means that you are still involved in your marriage, even if it frustrates or bothers you.
I know that people often say that you miss your spouse simply because your habit has been broken. They will say that parting ways requires some adjustment even if there is nothing left. In fact, I do not agree with this. I think feeling nothing or a sense of nonchalance could be an indication that it’s over. But this was not the case here.
I find that people who have really gotten over their partner or marriage actually feel a sense of peace and acceptance. There is no anger, frustration, longing, or confusion. There is simply nothing else. Because both people know that they have done everything they could and yet it was not enough.
He couldn’t tell this wife what he was feeling or why he was feeling it. But it seemed pretty obvious to me that she hadn’t yet reached the point of nonchalance and I think that was revealing. Of course, this is just my opinion. And the only opinion that really mattered was his.
Where to go from here: Again, this is not my decision. It really was the wife’s decision and she would probably have to sit still, take some time, and dig deep so she could hear what her heart was trying to tell her. This was a serious decision that could have a strong impact on two lives.
So this is just my opinion, but it seems to me that it makes sense not to rush. He could take his time and see if the feelings continued. She wasn’t sure that she should share this fully with her husband until she was sure of her feelings. Because I’ve been the wife on the other side of this, and I wouldn’t have wanted my husband to give me false hope until I was sure.
So I suggest you stay present and put off filing for divorce until you are more sure of your feelings. Regardless of whether this relationship was to end eventually, it is always a good idea to leave things on a positive note. It is always a good idea to maintain a positive relationship with someone who will always be very important to you. Therefore, I would suggest not to make hasty decisions and just watch and listen. Your heart may be trying to tell you something and you cannot get the message if you are not listening and willing to listen to what you have to say.