How to impress a girl with your communication skills

When guys survey the landscape of potential mates, we look primarily at physical appearance. Sure, if you’ve got girls lined up so far in your black book that you can’t see an afternoon off for months, you can start qualifying based on personality.

But for the rest of us mortals, a pretty girl is good enough, as long as she’s not a psychotic killer. And for many of us, that may still be good enough, as long as she doesn’t try to murder us in our sleep.

Girls, on the other hand, don’t give much credibility to appearances. Sure, if a guy looks like a treat to the eyes, they’ll like to ogle him and may even sleep with him. But they won’t consider it relationship material, not for a second.

To really impress a girl on a deep level, you need to have some strong communication skills. Memorized patterns only go so far. Sure, you can open her up with a few lines memorized and play a game of mental chess with her possible responses, but the further the conversation progresses, the more real conversational skills you’ll need.

So how do you impress her?

Dale Carnegie taught years ago that the easiest way to impress someone is to be impressed by them. He taught that the easiest way to become interesting is to first become interested.

How do you do that? This is something that cannot be faked. However, people are generally interesting. Learn to ask open questions. These are questions that have to be answered with more than one word.

“Do you like sushi?” It is not an open question, as it can be answered with a simple yes or no.

But a question like: “So, what kind of food do you usually like when you go out with your friends?” is a much better question. It requires some thought and a lengthy answer.

There are two reasons why you want long answers. One is that she won’t get defensive, like you’re questioning her.

The second is that her answers will give you more opportunities to ask even more questions and find out things about her that generally interest you.

And when you’re talking about things she likes, and she’s genuinely interested, she’ll naturally start to feel a natural attraction.

As a bonus, you’ll quickly discover a lot of things to share with her, about yourself, that gives both of you that awesome “me too!” feeling of connection.