Family Stories: How to Gather Them and Save Them for Posterity
Every family has years and years of stories. — happy, sad, exciting, funny, adventurous, historical, good, bad and ugly. These stories are often shared when the family has vacations or annual reunions. But, without being recorded on tape and/or paper, they are soon forgotten and never enjoyed by the following generations. Don’t let that happen to your precious tales.
Start by writing down your family stories as you remember them. And don’t be discouraged if others have a different perception of what really happened or the value of this work. The important point to remember is that writing your family stories your way is a great way to start, and it will turn out to be a wonderful experience for you too.
Start with the elders in the family. Before your parents, grandparents and/or aunts and uncles are no longer here, sit down with them and ask lots of leading questions. If you say, “Tell me your story,” they’ll say, “Nothing exciting ever happened to me. There’s nothing to tell.” If you ask thoughtful, open-ended questions about places they’ve lived, people they’ve met, teachers they’ve had, places they’ve traveled, memories of first dates, embarrassing moments, and major events that made a difference in their lives, they will fill tapes and books with interesting stories.
Where can I find good questions to ask? Donald Davis, a master personal storyteller, has written an excellent book full of thought-provoking questions and stories called Tell Your Own Stories: For Family and Classroom Storytelling, Public Speaking, and Journaling.
Once you have the information, it’s time to create the story for posterity. This is the most fun, but also the most demanding part of the storytelling and capturing process. It will have a lot of extra details and facts that detract from, rather than enhance, the final story. Taking into account the attributes of a successful story (time, place, character(s), conflict, crisis, change, and resolution), you will bring it all together to create a story that engages, entertains, and lasts.
It’s okay to embellish and add the emotions you felt. hearing the story for the first time. Once you have it in a readable and/or understandable form, start sharing it with other family members at meetings and get-togethers. You’ll soon discover the parts that work and the parts that don’t. Take note of reactions and points of laughter and tears. Ask for feedback (don’t listen to negative comments).
Create a written version. I know this whole process sounds slow and requires a lot of work. It’s both, but once you have these “treasures” written down in final form, you and the whole family will be delighted. You couldn’t give a better gift to family members, starting with the whole process of gathering and listening to the end product of sharing.
Remember, all family members who participate will be excited and proud and will hopefully continue the process of capturing family stories for posterity.