Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and domestic violence
Domestic abuse here in the UK is increasing with 1 in 4 women experiencing domestic abuse. It has always been a common assumption that the majority of victims of domestic abuse were women. This couldn’t be further from the truth. The ‘Living Without Abuse’ website reported that 1 in 6 men will also experience domestic abuse in their lifetime.
Each and every experience is different. Abuse is abuse, but the severity from case to case is never the same. There are those who manage to break free and others who never did. On average, two women a week in the UK are murdered as a result of domestic violence and 30 men a year are murdered.
In domestic violence cases there is a victim and an abuser.
If asked to imagine the traits of a victim, the characteristics would often include those of a weak and submissive individual. If you are asked to imagine the traits of an abuser, traits such as domineering and selfish will be familiar to you.
The probability that these traits are present is probably very high. That said, it is also common for a victim to be domineering and selfish, and for an abuser to be weak and submissive. Not all victims or abusers are the same. There are no definite symptoms of victim or abuser, they are men and women of different shapes, sizes and origins.
It is an impossible task to identify why an abuser becomes an abuser, or why a victim becomes a victim.
Just as the education and experiences of these people may have had an impact, they may not have contributed at all, either. If either party witnessed domestic violence during their childhood years, it could be considered normal behavior for them.
If it is believed that the minors involved may be harmed, it is easy to understand why a victim would choose to remain in these circumstances and endure the abuse. There is always a lot to consider, it is never as simple as it seems. There are behavioral, psychological, cultural, economic issues and aspects that must be taken into account and much more.
The UK is aware of domestic violence. There is help out there. Assistance is available to rebuild lives, to get them out of these toxic situations.
It would be a mistake to assume that “normal” life could resume immediately. Many years may pass. What is classified as a “normal” life for a victim or abuser may not bear any resemblance to normalcy as it is known to the general population.
How can a victim move on?
The chances of forgetting the experience are slim. Feelings of worthlessness, low self-esteem, lack of confidence are all too familiar to a victim. The path of feeling satisfied, accepted, and most importantly, insurance may seem too out of reach. Your abuser is usually someone you once respected. It is challenging to overcome the breach of that trust.
How can an abuser move on?
Abusers generally lack discipline, like to make demands but resist any form of personal control. They are dominant dictators and have no form of self-control.
How can Brazilian Jiu Jitsu help?
Placing the victim and the abuser in an environment of physical contact is a situation that should never happen. Their paths must never cross or risk being crossed, whether they have agreed to continue working together or not.
This is a program so that the individual can participate with confidence without threats. The problems that occur before, during, and after domestic violence are not easy to overcome. The coping strategies that Brazilian Jiu Jitsu presents can help on the journey of support to help end the psychological problems that domestic violence presents.
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu can help both victims and abusers.
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is a physical contact sport. The fundamental principles focus on self-defense. This is an important process in which a victim can learn the necessary tools and apply them for self-protection.
Although it may make little sense to advise a victim to play a contact sport, in the case of domestic violence, the effects are not temporary. Victims suffer physical and emotional trauma. In most cases, broken bones and bruises will heal over time, but the emotional side effects are long-lasting. If a victim can learn to defend himself, he can help in the recovery process. Being able to manage yourself can offer a surge of confidence and help overcome those feelings of helplessness and boost your self-esteem.
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu offers the abuser the opportunity to redeem himself. They will be disciplined, controlled and will learn to respect their peers. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu can help control anger problems with a view to ending abusive behavior.
Again, it may seem wrong to arm an abuser with the techniques that a martial art can provide, but the physical aspects of BJJ are only a small proportion of the benefits that BJJ can provide. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu can offer a coping mechanism and the mat is a place where anger can be expressed constructively. The problem solving and communication skills it provides are life skills.
To redevelop someone with a learned abusive behavior problem, it must be understood that it will take time to transform these habits and attitudes that you have had throughout your life.