My Mother-In-Law Is The Reason For My Failed Marriage: Tips And Tricks That Can Help

I often hear of wives who are crazy about their mother-in-law. If you’ve never been in this situation before, it can be hard to understand how one extra person in a marriage can ruin the whole thing. We’re often not talking about a little intrusion here and there or some annoyance that you hear about once or twice a year and then completely forget about.

No, these women are telling me that the mother-in-law insists on seeing her son and grandchildren every day. Or she gets into her wife’s life and creates all kinds of conflicts. Or, she puts her son in a situation where she has to decide between the wife or the mother-in-law. This, in turn, contributes to the wife seeing her husband in a very undesirable way, and this constant conflict (with very little resolution) can often put a lot of pressure on the marriage. It’s not uncommon for me to hear women say that their mother-in-law is the only reason their marriage is falling apart or failing. In the following article, I am going to offer tips on how to deal with this situation.

Understand that you and your mother-in-law really want the same things (and that’s why your husband is caught in the middle): When I tell women this, they often feel frustrated or even angry. But, if you can step back even for a second and try to see the situation as a third party would, it is possible to understand that the two of you want similar things. You both want to feel loved, valued, prioritized, understood, and appreciated by your husband. Often, however, the mother-in-law has a hard time letting go once her “baby” gets married.

Of course he deserves a caring and loving son, but now he has to share. And that is often where the problem lies. She hopes things don’t have to change that much. And when conflicts arise, she sometimes hopes that her husband will give her the upper hand, since she raised him and has known him for much longer than you. She is, after all, family. But what she sometimes doesn’t understand is that you are her family too.

This comes into play even more when there are cultural differences or lifestyle expectations. Sure, you may not be the one she would have chosen for her child. But at some point, she will have to get over that. Because she thinks of your husband for a second. He is completely caught in the middle and is being pulled at both ends. I hear from many husbands on this subject and this also hurts and frustrates them a bit.

The truth is that he loves both of them and seeing them mad at him in the middle hurts him too. He feels that he is going to lose and disappoint a woman he loves no matter what he does. He often wishes that the two of you could work it out. He often feels embarrassed and embarrassed by the way his mother is acting, but he doesn’t know how to say this to his own mother. (And he knows this makes him look weak and indecisive in your eyes.)

Put your mother-in-law in “her place”: Women often ask me how to beat the final laws at their own game. The truth is that to do this, you have to define what you really want. And often, that’s not really to “catch” her or make her mad. What you really want is to be happy with your own husband and your own family from time to time without them interfering and causing conflict.

And you know what? The more you interact with her, the further you will move away from this goal. The truth is, it’s probably feeding into this process as much as you think. When she can frustrate you, make you angry with your husband or make you nervous, then she feels very happy because she has done what she set out to do. In a sense, she has won, at least temporarily. And when you’re upset and angry, your husband sees you in a negative light, which is exactly what your mother-in-law expected.

Instead, make sure you’re not playing directly with his hand. Understand and keep reminding yourself that you win when you and her husband are happy and don’t let her invade you. If you look at it this way, “putting her in her place” is really not letting her invade and affect your happiness and your marriage. Just brush or laugh at it. Make a light joke. Let her know that the smile her son put on her face will NOT go away or be affected simply because her place in her son’s life makes her uncomfortable. That’s her problem, not yours.

If you do this well enough and for long enough, this will often disarm her. She will eventually come to learn that all of her insults and interference are a waste of time and will only make her look bad in front of her own son. Every time you rise above her pettiness and put a smile on your face, you’ve won. And then it becomes very apparent to her husband that the problem is her and not you.

Once his position grows stronger and hers continues to weaken, she will often learn that if she wants to see herself positively with her son, she had better start playing nice. Here you are smiling and making him happy. So if there’s a problem, it’s with her.